Even Trump’s websites lie.
The internet home of Trump Tower is a work of fiction. If you click the “Retail” tab, the link invites you to “EXPLORE OUR IMPRESSIVE PORTFOLIO OF RETAIL TENANTS.” A picture boasts that Gucci, Tiffany, and Starbucks have set up shop there.
The Dining section is headlined by the “Trump Cafe.” However, you cannot eat there. It is closed for renovations. Trump promises a reopening in the spring. But if you believe that, you might be a MAGA.
The chief retail tenant is the Trump Store — where you can buy his second-rate branded merchandise at a premium. How about a scented candle for $48? Mother’s Day is in two weeks. No? Wise choice. For less expensive schlock, you can go to the Trump gift shop. Which, for some reason, features campaign merch from 2020 — and looks like it would be at home in a train station.
However, you can no longer patronize Ivanka’s jewelry store. She bailed in 2017.
The facility itself is a shadow of its past glory. The Trump Organization website hyperventilates: “One of the most notable features of Trump Tower is the breath-taking 60-foot waterfall embellishing the eastern wall of the building.” The building has turned the water off. So you must use your imagination while staring at a tall wall.
The currency exchange behind Trump as he descended the escalator to make his announcement in 2015 is no more. Its space stands empty, collecting dust – a bleak reminder that no one wants it.
And nothing screams elegance like a plastic garbage can and a baby’s chair.
Trump lied about the size of his apartment in Trump Tower — it is 11,000 sq ft, not 30,000. He lied about the height of the building — it is 58 stories, not 68. And on his website, he lies about the view. The picture below was taken from somewhere on Central Park South. Trump Tower is three blocks south of the Park on the other side of 5th Ave.
Trump Tower was always ugly. The exterior design is derivative and boring. The public spaces were designed to appeal to an unimaginative and esthetically challenged, outer-borough boy with the taste of an Albanian crime boss.
The only people who would appreciate it are people who cannot afford to live there. Although, if they wait for a second, the desperate owners of Trump Tower apartments may soon take ‘any reasonable offer’.