Here they are — representatives of the small clique that is posing as Republican “leadership” in the House of Representatives.
So — who are these assholes? From left to right:
NANCY MACE Republican representative from SC. Why is she wearing a scarlet “A” on her blouse?
Rep. Nancy Mace (R-S.C.) donned a red “A” on her shirt Tuesday after her vote to oust former Speaker Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.) left her feeling “demonized” on Capitol Hill, she said.
“I’m wearing the scarlet letter after the week that I just had, last week, being a woman up here and being demonized for my vote and for my voice,” Mace told reporters, apparently referencing the 19th century novel The Scarlet Letter in which the protagonist was condemned to wear a red “A” — a “scarlet letter” — after becoming pregnant out of wedlock.
Brian Mast Republican representative from Florida. Why is he dressed in an Israeli army uniform?
This clown is not an Israeli soldier but you might be fooled into thinking he’s one, because he’s wearing an IDF uniform.
Meet Brian Mast, Republican Representative from the great state of Floriduh. he’s not an Israeli. he’s never been a member of the Israeli military. he’s not even Jewish.
Brian’s a Christian from Grand Rapids, Michigan. he is a US military veteran, but the closest that he’s come to the IDF is the twelve days he spent as a non-combat volunteer, packing medical supplies.
Lately he’s been showing up in Congress in full Israeli military garb. you see, Brian is making a point — and that point is: I’m a performative-nonsense nitwit who loves doing cheap political stunts in order to get my face on TV.
Jim (AKA “Gym”) Jordan, Republican, Ohio. Why is this fool shouting?
Right now, there are about 55 people in America who are having the worst weekend of their lives.
Imagine you’re one of them. you’re at home, trying desperately to relax, and your phone rings. you sigh, because on the other end is a certain shouty half-dressed degenerate wrestling coach. you can hear the screaming before you can even get the phone to your ear.
“god damn it, you fucking fuck, you better fucking vote for me. I will make your life miserable. I will come to your house. I will fuck you up. I will eat your fucking face. that’s right, your face. fuck you, you fucking fuck, I will make you wish you never fucking met me.”
You hang up the phone. it starts ringing again.
Why is this happening to you? because you are one of the 55 House Republicans who won’t vote for Jim Jordan to be Speaker of the House.
Gymmy Jordan has a problem. he wants to be Speaker of the House, but he doesn’t have the votes.
But on a second ballot asking simply whether G.O.P. lawmakers would support the Ohio Republican if the speaker nomination went to the floor, 55 still said no.
About 18 of the 55 holdouts have a very good reason for not voting for Jordan — it would be political suicide. these Reps are from swing districts and they absolutely do not want to have to explain to their constituents why they gave the Speaker’s gavel to a subpoena-defying insurrectionist who begged for a pardon after unsuccessfully trying to overthrow his own government.
But Shouty Gym has a cunning plan. He’s going get right up in their faces and scream at them until they fold. Right now, he’s threatening to primary anyone who won’t vote for him. Wait, did I say it was cunning plan? what I meant to say is that it’s one of the stupidest fucking plans in the entire history of stupid fucking plans.
it’s classic Republican thinking: solve your immediate problem while destroying your future.
Let’s say that Jordan’s threats are successful, he gets the holdouts to vote for him, and becomes Speaker. yay, Jim.
But what happens a year from now, during the 2024 election? The 18 swing district Republicans lose to Democratic challengers. the Republicans lose the House. Gym loses his job.
Let’s say that Gym can’t win over the holdouts, and he makes good on his threat to primary them with even loonier MAGA candidates. the MAGA candidates win their primaries — but they’re in swing districts, which makes them unelectable. The Republicans lose the House.
This isn’t idle speculation, we’ve seen unelectable MAGA candidates lose one swing district election after another.
Gym Jordan is willing to blow up the Republican future just so he can spend the next 13 months as Speaker.
Nice job, Gym. Keep up the good work. now get back to your phone calls.